Hello there busy fellas! If you could spare me just 10 minutes of your time, I will tour you around the world of REALITY. Here real people meet the real people inside the office where everyone could be productive, or maybe not depending on the employees' mood swings.
As you rediscover your workmates you already knew few months or years ago, you are also encouraged to reclassify yourself as well (regardless of your rank or seniority) according to the cluster that best suits you! Are you ready to jam along? Well then let’s get it on.
1. THE “DON’T-TALK-TO-ME-I’M-BUSY-CAN’T YOU-SEE” BUDDIES
These are the kind of employees who hate to be disturbed especially when they are in the midst of solving a critical problem and at the peak of their productivity. While the solution is getting clearer and vivid in their mind, you entered into the scenario and broke their silence. Awesome! Everything is in the reset mode! Go back to step # 1 again. One server down.
2. THE “PEOPLE’S CHOICE”
These are typically the employees you’re gonna see the whole time around every corner of the office at every moment of time unimaginable! You see? They have the potential to be the company’s next Vice-President in charge of Social Affairs. It’s just amazing how they could stay chill and relax while the atmosphere is being pumped by too much workload. Cheers! I just hope this dude’s done with his task already.
3. THE “BEST ACTOR/ACTRESS” OSCAR NOMINEE
“Oh wait. Vacation leaves were consumed already. Still have 10 sick leaves in the queue for a year round. What’s the latest valid sickness to declare this time? I’ll try vertigo since my eyes are tired of staring at the monitor the whole day. Tomorrow when I enter the office, I’ll rub off my eyes for my pre-sick leave screening.”
Sounds familiar? Yes, they are the employees who will take a sick leave and come back the other day with a tanned skin. I wonder what kind of sickness can change the color of your skin within a day aside from a sunbath in the beach? Admit it, after such a secret trip, one can be so much productive.
4. THE “ASK-ANYTHING-UNDER-THE-SUN-AND-I-KNOW-IT” PERFECTIONIST
Perfectionism isn’t bad at all, I’ll make that a clear point. Nothing’s perfect, everybody knows that. However, being perfect at a craft you ought to be skillful at is a perfect description of perfectionism – you are perfect for a “certain” task, not at everything. Let’s say you finished Accountancy. You studied more than 4 years. You need to master that craft. What makes mastery a crap is when you assume you know everything when you’re not even aware of how to do it in practical application and be productive in such endeavor.
5. THE “GIVE-IT-TO-ME-MA’AM-SIR-I’LL-FINISH-IT-NOW” MARTYR
One word to simplify – “impressionist”. There’s nothing wrong with leaving an impression. It’s everybody’s duty. To leave a mark. On the other hand, there are these employees who fail to acknowledge their limitations. They don’t know how to negotiate things in a diplomatic way. They always say “YES” when the answer their boss is waiting for them is “NO”. Sometimes the tricky part is that your superior wants to test your skills in communication – not in the technical skills aspect.
6. THE “TOMORROW-IS-ANOTHER-DAY” PROCRASTINATOR
Behold their magic! These employees love to cram. Don’t be mad at them. Different people have different strategies to be productive in the office. Mind your own business. Research shows that some people work efficiently when they are pressured – and they go back immediately in the idle state once the pressure is over. It will only be your burden if the quality of their work affects yours as well.
7. THE “EAT-NOW-‘TIL-YOU-DROP” FOOD-TRIPPER
Oh well, life is short. He has too much money. He can buy whatever his stomach craves for! This is his stress-relief. This is his escape to reality. This is the hobby he loves doing the most. If you want it too, ask his permission. You’ll be lucky if he’ll let you have a share of his popcorn smelling all over the office.
8. THE “NO-PAIN-NO-GAIN-NO-WORK-NO-PAY” ACHIEVER
This employee is simply outstanding. He’s paying his own bills. He has stable investments. His bank account is consistently increasing in volume. Never fail to work hard. Never lets his productivity die into hopeless illusions. But sometimes he needs someone to talk to. If you have time, chat with him a bit… and wait, of course, for a treat!
9. THE “SOLOMON OF THE 20TH CENTURY"
He has everything under control. Mind over matter. Family, ok. Friends, ok. Work, ok. Savings, ok. Relationship, ok. This employee is as wise as Solomon – a bible character and is the "wisest man who ever lived on earth". He stands firm on his decisions. And he is a man of one word.
10. THE “I-DON’T-LIKE-IT-THAT-WAY-CAUSE-I-LIKE-MINE” COMPLAINANT
You can’t hear even a whisper of “Thank You” from this kind of employee. He’s difficult to please. He wants to change everything – the house rules, the system, the statement of account including the SALN, the people’s attitude, the people’s mind. Be careful of them. They can’t withstand the complexity of life here on earth; because if you don’t, sooner or later you too won’t be contented.